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so lets get to the point
lets roll another joint
an head on down the road
to somewhere i gotta go
Tom Petty 

So my Summer didn’t go quite as planned…as a sage once quipped, “Life is What Happens While You Are Busy Making Other Plans.”  As they say, excrement happens.  Careful readers will remember my posting my plans for Summer back in April, and any observer knows that is not what happened.  I mostly played my cards close to my vest because I didn’t want pity, I didn’t want to make excuses, and I really felt no shame; after all I am right in this situation.

So back in April I put my belongings in storage, vacated my house, and headed East to my father’s funeral with plans to go in search of destiny after he was firmly planted.  Part of packing up my life was throwing the pot I had laying around into a box and putting it in the van, somewhere between half a kilo and a kilo (I didn’t weigh it…it was just what I had laying around when it was time to go).  Good herb too, Emerald Triangle at its best…

I made it as far as Iowa, Grinnell Iowa.  I was out of the van playing with the dogs when a police rolled up…one thing led to another and he called for help and searched my van…oops.

So there I was…

My van, my two dogs, a rider who didn’t drive that I was taking to Chicago, and the police pull out my two pounds of pot…a day and a half before my father’s funeral and nearly 600 miles away.   Oh yeah!  not a good day.

Could there be a good part to the story?  Well, the police didn’t find my five grand in cash, I’m pretty sure they would have taken that.

Considering that the police were in the process of making havoc out of my life for possession of an innocuous weed, they did treat my pretty good. They left my rider in charge of my van and my dogs and ran me into the county seat where I passed jail and went straight to the magistrate, multiple felonies and multiple other charges, they released me on my own recognizance and dropped me back off at my van.  With barely a two hour delay in my travels, I was back on the road….poorer, but none the wiser…

Those who know me know that I sowed more than oats in my younger days of carousing, a couple of felonious assaults and a bunch of other stuff back in the 80s…that culminated in Jackson State Penitentiary where I rang out the 80s and chimed in the 90s.  My assumption based on what Michigan would have done…multiple pounds of pot, baggies, and a scale…was to assume that I was going to spend some time in the Iowa penal system.  I made that assumption and I acted and prepared accordingly.

Possession with intent to deliver, a 5 year felony; Iowa drug stamp violation, a 5 year felony; using a vehicle to commit a felony, a 4 year aggravated misdemeanor, and possession of paraphernalia, a misdemeanor.  Oh year, they’re going to send me to prison alright.

So with the help of a great friend and with the support of a great brother, I moved my stuff out of California and into Missouri and made plans to place my dogs with relatives…and court dragged on…

…and on…

If you see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don’t cost very much, but it lasts quite a while.
Would you please tell the man I didn’t kill anyone?
I was just trying to have me some fun.
John Prine

Months dragged on, the wheels of (in)justice turn slowly… glacially slow.

Finally in August my attorney stood up on my behalf, and the courts not wanting to research the motions and wanting to avoid the cost of trial came up with a deal that I couldn’t refuse.  They basically dropped everything except the felony possession which I plead guilty to with the understanding that the prosecutor would request probation (along with a few thousand to several thousand in fines and costs).

Since then I’ve gone up to do a pre-sentence investigation with the department of corrections.  I held off going public with this until that was completed, today I received my copy of that report.  The pre-sentence investigator has reiterated the call for a few thousand to several thousand in fines and costs and tied that to a recommendation of unsupervised probation.  So it seems pretty solid that that is what I should get.

My figuring of the costs that I will incur are a bottom limit of $3500 and an upper limit of about $13000…and back to California I will go.  Running back just as quickly and firmly as I can.

My sentencing is next Monday, the 24th…I really don’t expect any surprises.

So that leaves but one question.  Cui bono? To whose benefit?  I’ve thought it through and the only ones who have benefited from this misadventure are the narco-terrorists South of the border.  So to the police, to the magistrate, to the judge, to the entire criminal justice corporate complex, congratulations…the narco-terrorists appreciate you.

Here is the Asylum Street Spankers, Winning the War on Drugs:

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